The Issue At Hand:
With the assistance of YouTube, anyone can voice out their opinions, express one's feelings, and issues that one wishes to get off their chest. One particular issue that started to become publicly voiced out on, over the recent years, is the frustration of being older and still a virgin. Now there are many people that will have a lot to say why virgins are virgins. In the first half of this post, I wanted to first introduce 3 You-tubers who openly admitted to being a virgin and their reasons why.
You-tuber, Danny Brandt, explains in this video that it's frustrating to even convince his peers that he is still a virgin. A majority of the feedback he gets is that he is either lying, he's too good looking, or too nice to still be a virgin. Danny states that he never even had his first kiss.
Earlier in life, he wanted to ideally share his first time experience with a woman he genuinely likes who also is a virgin. But due to the guilt he carries of being a virgin at 21 (He was 21 years old when he filmed the video but he titled it that he was 23.), Danny just wants to lose his virginity right away.
He questions his viewers,
"And is it pathetic for a guy to be like this? Because society really makes it seem like it."
Jonathon Carroll expresses his bitterness of never having a girlfriend. Over the years, his bitterness had grown to the point that he can't hang out with friends that are in relationships due to jealousy over them. He's had crushes in the past but none like him in return.
Jonathon concludes his video by advising his viewers to be grateful for their current relationships, past relationships, or anyone that has a crush on them even if they are annoying.
He also states that he indirectly gives up in finding love:
"So, I can be myself and it doesn't matter because no one will ever like me anyway. Never had a girlfriend anyways so just be myself and express myself: Not to impress anybody."
You-tuber, ArchiveofGE320, made a video response to Jonathon Carroll's video above. ArchiveofGE320 (Archive for short.) says that he finally found someone he can relate to. Archive breaks down why he never had a girlfriend into 3 main reasons: Rarely goes out, avoids women that look unappealing when out with friends, and is constant ignored by women he's attracted to through texts or Facebook messages.
He stresses that the constant incidence of women ignoring his texts/messages was the most experienced out of the 3 reasons. He vents out claiming that these women probably ignore guys for fun. Archive justifies himself saying that all he does is focus on that one girl in that particular time and no one else.
He wraps up the video stating his purpose for pursuing women:
"No. I'm not trying to get laid. All I'm trying to do is find a long-term relationship with somebody. That is what I...That is the mission that I am fighting for."
Lending A Helping Hand:
Now to the second half of this post. I've gathered 3 videos I felt could overall help not just Danny, Jonathon, and Archive but also a majority of others going through the same issues: Losing one's virginity and/or finding a relationship. Note that these videos DO NOT provide specific ways to removing one's virginity. That might seem like reading the rest of this post would be a waste of time. I do guarantee that after reading, you'll receive some important outlooks on life that can change you for the better.
The first video, made by You-tuber Julienfreetour, focuses on rejection. He provides many different perspectives to the subject. One perspective that can be applied to Jonathon is the willingness to make mistakes. Jonathon stated that he wants to avoid finding love to avoid making repeated mistakes. Julien stresses that people get ahead in life when they are willing to make mistakes.
I feel that Jonathon needed someone to guide him through. I encourage others like Jonathon to watch this video and other videos,blogs that Julien provides in his channel. He'll help guide you and the rest of his viewers to successfully interact with the attracted sex and overall self-improvement in life.
He forewarns you that it's still a tough process everyone has to go through:
"'I want to get good without getting rejected.' Not going to happen."
Kong, from Simple Pickup, focuses on the topic of confidence. He splits the form of confidence to 2 types: Outer confidence and inner confidence. Inner confidence is that confidence you have within you and stays within you no matter what happens to you in life.
Kong states that doing whatever you want in life is one way of having inner confidence. Caring about what others might think to the point that you allow it to influence how you live won't make you happy. Ironically, I felt that Danny cared so much about losing his virginity not so he can fulfill himself but so he can fulfill the rules of society.
People, like Danny, who feel pressured to lose their virginity just so they can fulfill society's standards should watch this video. You'll know what type of confidence you should have which will ultimately lead to losing your virginity, finding the love of your life, and possibly much more.
Kong says this quote by Dr. Seuss that I felt was very enlightening:
"Be who you are and say what you fell because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."
You-tuber, Ramzpaul, begins this video with a little history of George Washington. He then briefly talks about a psychopathic killer that recently committed murder around the time of this video. Now I'm not implying that virgins have psychopathic killing tendencies whatsoever. I do feel that this video applies to people who center their sex/love life as their main priority.
Ramzpaul suggests that people should have a mission in life like setting up your career or gaining a new skill. George Washington had a mission in life at age 22: To fight off the British for freedom. Ramzpaul claims Washington was probably a virgin that time but didn't care because of his mission. Standing for something like freeing people from an oppressive government made Washington into a 22-year-old man.
Archive mentions that his mission is to find the love of his life. That priority has led him to minimize is interaction with a variety of people and not just women. Also, Archive didn't seem to have a big mission in life that would change him for the better and for the world respectively. You don't need to fight another country to claim that as a mission in life. Make your life extraordinary like Archive joining a gaming tournament. Doing that would help him network with people like him including women.
Ramzpaul encourages his viewers,
"You can't be this desperate guy that chases girls and makes girls the center of your life...Be a George Washington. Have faith. Have a family. Stand for something."
Why Write This:
Society in general tends to judge negatively to those that are or look like the stereotypical imagery of a virgin. This factor makes it harder for virgins to find the right answers without getting ridiculed. This video above is the perfect example of that.
It's an interview of a 37 year old virgin seeking to lose his virginity before the age of 40. In the middle of the film, the interviewee was asked what would he do if he were in this sex situation with this scenario. I sensed that they were rubbing it in that he was a virgin and bragging their sex experiences just to show superiority. It's like a millionaire telling a poor person, who's never had a lot of money, how to handle a million dollars. You don't need to be rich to know that you're being ridiculed or scammed.
I'm sure a majority of virgins are scared to ask helped or else they'll be put in the spot like the interviewee. On that note, the interviewee lost his virginity at the end of the video. I felt that it was wrong in so many levels. Main reason was that it took away his chance to lose it after going through a process of changing himself within whether it be confidence over social anxiety or handling rejection with a positive mindset. But then again it was his choice. He wanted to fulfill society's standard.
This is why I wrote this post. Typing in the answers on YouTube's search box or scrolling through the recommended video lists may not be enough. I feel the virgin audience needs to verify whether this You-tuber who's giving advice is either the guy that would rub in their face that "I get some" or a genuine person who can provide insights that can fulfill their lives and not society's standards.
Hopefully this post can influence you on how to give advice to one another in a better and genuine way.
I'm not a George Washington but I'm on a mission. What's yours?
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